So I did NOT post back on Friday. Or sooner. But everything went as well as can be expected at that stage. There was a small bean with a heartbeat. Estimated due date 1/19. They scheduled me for a better look on 6/9 (my doctor's office is really good about seeing me every couple of weeks until I feel in the clear about my chances...).
Obviously, 6/9 was Monday. And everything still looked good. The baby was measuring exactly 9 weeks so they moved my due date up to 1/12. I will go back on 6/23 to get another look & have blood work done for the Panorama test (since I've already had 1 baby with a chromosome issue - Trisomy 13). That will tell me if this baby has a chromosome problem & what the gender is.
So that's the update yall. I'm still hella scared because I can't hear it with the Doppler yet, but encouraged by my last couple of visits.
Oh yeah. I turned 33 at the end of last month. I pretty much cried all night because we had to leave my birthday party early because my toddler was throwing the worst fit ever. Then she threw up in my face the next morning. Super gross. Then my sister-in-laws made me feel bad because Ruby doesn't go down easy at night & pretty much because I wouldn't get it because I didn't breastfeed her. Basically, I was just super hormonal & sensitive to their comments. But still. I have a lot of internal guilt about how I had to have a C-section & couldn't breastfeed so I take comments about either of those things pretty close to heart. Both of my grandmothers had all their kids via C-section & my sister, but they were able to breast feed so... I just kinda feel like my body wasn't MADE to have children. And that's soul crushing. But my body did CREATE & CARRY her so I should be super thankful for that. There are plenty of people in the world wishing for my situation & I shouldn't take it for granted. But sometimes I do & I need to snap out of it because I have a cute toddler to focus on raising. Right?
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